Mentoring For The New Millenium

In the last decade of the twentieth century, we have witnessed monumental commercial upheaval. More has happened this decade culturally, philosophically, and psychologically to change the complexion of the workplace than happened in the three prior decades. In the nineties, every organization was bombarded with a host of bold new strategic initiatives. These include downsizing, reengineering, and restructuring just to mention a few.

Oftentimes, these initiatives robbed people of their future and some organizations of their souls. Hatchet men and women chopped up enterprises into new and more streamlined business models. And in the process, some of the older parts of the original model have been discarded, tossed on the junk heap.

Our heroes and their wisdom are disappearing. Some of us have no mentors, and we have been called upon to figure it all out for ourselves. Many people in the business world today have little in common with their leaders, and they suffer from their managers' inability to provide them with the wisdom" and inspiration they crave.

Today's eager and promising professionals are thrown into the business arena without the human interaction skills they need to overcome an uncertain future. While fluent in the technological fundamentals of their businesses, many lack confidence and competency when it comes to optimizing the potential in their relationships with others.

They have the words, but they do not have the music. They can talk a good technical game, but they can't pull it off when it comes to influencing people, taking action, and creating change. They lack the magical ability to connect with other people whom they must influence.

Mentoring
The current business environment has created a compelling need for mentors. Mentoring is about the human spirit and the possibilities in your relationships with others. It is about unlocking the tremendous potential that exists in all of us.

Mentoring carries forward the best tradition of the organization. Those who mentor others communicate an entire value system throughout an organization. This is the same way ethics and values are transmitted in a close family ? by word and deed. And if that communication is broken or short circuited, the organization is doing a disservice to itself, its employees, and its customers.

The Mentoring Relationship

In the ideal mentoring alliance, there are no strings attached. The mentor does not see the protege as a burden. Instead, the mentor views the protege as a valuable asset to be given knowledge, skills, and inspiration.

The mentor forms a unique relationship with the protege. Just as there is give and take in a partnership, there is a flow of ideas and energy from mentor to protege, and protege to mentor. In the ideal mentoring alliance, the protege receives the gift of personal effectiveness and, in return, gives back admiration and respect to the mentor. The mentoring process can take place anywhere "behind the scenes," as well as in the office or in the field. Mentoring can take place at breakfast, during dinner at a favorite restaurant or in the lobby of a client's office.

The Essential Bond
To be an effective mentor demands full, conscious, and active participation in your protege's business life. This will enable you to create a strong bond to influence the career of another.
There is a nearness that takes place when you and your protege have anam cara. Anam cara is the human connection that helps you appreciate one another's qualities, as well as look out for each other's wellbeing.
When you have the deepest commitment to the mentoring relationship, your bond with your protege becomes the foundation of his or her day to day activities. John O'Donohue, an Irish poet, philosopher and Catholic priest who has studied the spiritual roots of Celtic worship, has described this special bond as the quality that the Celts called anam cara. When you share ana cara with your protege, the friendship is so strong that it magnifies and multiplies the potential for growth and prosperity. This is bonding at significant level. To be a mentor you must have a true-based relationship. To establish and maintain that trust, it's essential that you model the values and behaviors you want to instill in your protege. You can't influence a person to do the right and prudent thing while you do the opposite. To be an effective mentor, you must fully live out your commitment to your protege without question, this is a high requirement and it leaves no room for double standard.

Mentor Support
To the protege, a mentor is also a "safe haven. " With your support, guidance, and loyalty, your protege is given permission to experiment, fail, learn, and rebound. This prevents the' protege from becoming demoralized and discouraged. This support is essential during a protege's efforts on the job. The mentor helps the protege through times of isolation and helps to cushion the fear of failure speeding recovery from' anguish and despair. A mentor is sympathetic because you have "been there" and have experienced the blows and disappointments that are potentially devastating to any business professional.

The mentor can help reduce the fear of failing: Permitting painful recollections
Often it is difficult even impossible for the protege to reveal embarrassments or humiliating moments that seem weak or shameful. Having lived through many of these moments, you can listen without being judgmental and provide assurance that your protege is not alone in these experiences.

Providing a reality check
To the protege, failing at an assignment may seem like a clear signal that he or she "isn't cut out for this job" or "doesn't have what it takes." From the mentor's perspective, however, the small failures are only part of learning. By providing a "reality check, " you can put these experiences in perspective and help your protege learn from them rather than catastrophizing.

Giving a personal audience
The protege may need advice, understanding, or a sympathetic ear. Even when there's nothing "on the agenda," you can often provide support, encouragement, and guidance simply by being approachable.

Acting as advocate and champion
For the protege, it's reassuring to know that a mentor is available for support. Whether it's getting resources, making a presentation to senior leaders, or learning new skills, your protege needs your wisdom and availability.

A Beacon of Hope
As a mentor, you are more than a cheerleader. You must "keep watch" over your protege's actions to ensure he or she does not exhaust their efforts doing the wrong things. You must also help your protege sculpt his or her expectations so they are appropriate, realistic, and ultimately attainable. You must convince your protege that trying is stronger than giving up. A mentor activates the power of the human spirit. If your protege accomplishes things he or she thought were unattainable; recognizes positive qualities that he or she never thought they possessed; or discovers hidden reserves that he or she never suspected; then your mentoring efforts were instrumental in unlocking the potential that existed within your protege to build a stronger future.

By: Jack Carew, Chairman and CEO, Carew International, Inc
Author of The Mentor, 15 Keys to Success in Sales, Business, and Life